Out Of Reach
by Crystal Star
Summary: I wrote this a few years ago and forgot about it. Relena is still longing for the Perfect Soldier after many years have passed. R&R please ^^


Out Of Reach

AN: I think I kinda rushed this piece a little. But please tell me what you think, I'm not too sure of it myself ^_^;; Oh, and I strongly recommend that you download the song 'Out of Reach' if you haven't got it and listen to it while reading this to enhance your experience. Don't worry if you can't, it's still readable ^_^ 

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. I have never claimed to own it, and probably never will. Probably. It does, however, belong to lovely people at Sotsu, Bandai, Sunrise, Cartoon Network... and others... maybe... I can't remember... but it doesn't belong to me. I also don't own the song 'Out of Reach' by Gabrielle (obviously). All rights are reserved to the artist.

Key: "text" = speech, '_text' _ = thought, **_text_** = song, **--- text ---** = flashback.

~~*~~

Relena opened the door of her room and stepped inside. She walked over to her dresser, untied her hair from her ponytail, and looked at her reflection. A young girl with honey blonde hair smiled politely back at her, with a determined look on her face. The Vice Foreign Minister shook her head and let her mask drop. She stared at her reflection again. 

This time, the same girl looked back at her, but in place of the smile there was a sad expression. Her turquoise eyes were clouded with exhaustion and sorrow that was usually concealed behind her political mask, and she bore the signs of an experienced middle-aged woman, at the tender age of eighteen. Relena sighed and turned away. She walked into the adjoining bathroom and changed out of her tight uniform, before stepping out on her balcony.

**_Knew the signs_**

**_Wasn't right_**

**_I was stupid for a while_**

**Swept away by you**

**_And now I feel like the fool_**

This was the only place she felt she could organize her thoughts and her emotions without people constantly crowding around her, asking for advice, criticising her, testing her. This was when she felt calm, and at peace with herself. Unfortunately, this was also when thoughts of a certain Gundam pilot resurfaced. They were always there, she just pushed them away to the hidden corners of her mind, but they were there none the less. 

At the end of every day, when she let her mask drop, all thoughts of the emotionless pilot crashed into her mind and being like a tidal wave. And even now she still had hope, a ray of light shining in the darkness. Hope that he would return to her, one day. She sighed, and her shoulders slumped. _'Who am I kidding?'_ she thought to herself. _'It's unlikely that he remembers me as anything more than an annoying little schoolgirl chasing him around and causing trouble for him. I'm just an inconvenience, an obstacle in his eyes. All these years I've just been fooling myself...' _Her thoughts trailed off, her eyes brimming with unshed tears of grief, longing and anger. Anger at herself for not being able to move on, to forget about the Perfect Soldier.

**_So confused, my heart's bruised_**

**Was I ever loved by you?**

She looked out into the night, briefly remembering the time when she had bumped into him eight months ago, on Colony L2...

--- Relena was walking down the street, having just escaped from her ever-present bodyguards. She had finished her last meeting for the day, and wanted nothing more than to get away from all the patronizing colony representatives and officials in the stuffy conference room.

**All of a sudden, she felt that she was being watched and she whirled around, ready to face the stranger. There in front of her stood the person she least expected to see. Heero Yuy. "Heero..." she whispered.**

**The Gundam pilot nodded at her. "Relena," he said tonelessly.**

Her head was spinning. She had so many questions she wanted him to answer, so many thoughts and emotions flaring up inside again. She felt quite dizzy and stumbled forward, only to feel strong arms encircling around her waist. She looked up into Heero's cold blue gaze, and thought she saw a flash of concern. She dismissed it as a trick of the light.

**"Hn. You've been overworking yourself Relena." It was a statement, not a question.**

**Relena shook her head. **_'Still hasn't changed a bit...' _**She sensed Heero looking at her and smiled up at him. "I'm fine."**

Heero grunted in disbelief, but let go of her. He looked at her once again, before walking past her. Relena's eyes widened as she realised he was leaving again. She racked her head for something to say, something to keep him from leaving. "Heero!"

**He turned and stared at her, the mask of indifference in place. "Yes?"**

**Relena blushed. She found that she didn't have anything to say, that there was nothing she could say. Apart from one thing. **_'No Relena, now's not the time to tell him how you feel...'_****

**She smiled weakly. "Nothing..."**

**Heero blinked once. "Hn." And with that, he walked away from her life once again. ---**

Relena could not keep the tears from running down her cheek as the flashback ended. He had left, again. That was the last she had seen of him. All this time he had never been found, and she didn't search for him either. She had changed, no longer a lovesick schoolgirl chasing a boy, but a woman bound to her duties to influence the world, to keep the peace. Once again her thoughts drifted back to Heero, once again she couldn't hold back the tears that came flowing down her face.

**_Out of reach, so far_**

I never had your heart **Out of reach, couldn't see**

**_We were never meant to be_**__

She knew deep down, that the feelings she had for Heero could never be forgotten, never could be erased from her memory. And knowing this only made her cry more. Soon she was leaning against the balcony, sobbing silently with tears of never ending sorrow. As the sobs subsided, she stood up slowly, recomposing herself. She had to live without him, to push aside the feelings she had for him, in order to deliver her speeches and continue her attempts to maintain the peace. She didn't want to be selfish, there were so many people counting on her. And Heero was definitely a distraction, not what she needed right now. So she straightened up, and walked inside her room to get ready for bed. Tomorrow was another new day.

**_Catch myself from despair_**

**_I could drown if I stay here_**

**_Keeping busy every day_**

**I know I will be okay**

Relena sighed inwardly as her bodyguards escorted her out of her limousine past the mob of paparazzi. She smiled at all the people politely, and tried to ignore the bright flashes from the cameras, before ducking inside the building. Once inside, she straightened her uniform, and walked down the corridor to the solid wooden doors of the conference room. She stopped in front of them and grasped the brass doorknob tightly. She hesitated a bit before turning it and walking calmly inside, followed by the bodyguards, and ready to face the strict officials and representatives, and whatever conflicts they had for her to solve. _'Hmm... I wonder what problems all these people have for me today...'_ So lost in her own thoughts she was that she failed to notice a mysterious shadow lurking on an empty balcony, watching.

An elderly man stood as the Vice Foreign Minister approached the podium situated at the front. He greeted her with a smile, and she smiled back. She stepped up on the podium and sat on a chair next to a few other officials. The old man looked at her briefly before walking to the wooden stand at the front. He cleared his throat importantly before beginning his speech.

"As everyone has now arrived, with the exception of General Winford and Duke Hydall, who are currently being delayed on Colony L3, we will now deal the matter at hand. As we are all quite aware, there is now another mysterious organization gathering. This group is currently made up of ex-White Fang and OZ members, and also soldiers opposed to peace. Although it has not been discovered what their objectives are as of yet, there is a very likely possibility that they want to start another war, and separate the Earth from the space colonies. At the moment, there are many of us being targeted as we speak." At this he glanced at Relena before continuing. "To ensure the safety of members of the Earth Sphere Unified Nations, we have decided to appoint more experienced bodyguards for protection, however, these do include many old soldiers of the war. In case this may not be the best option for some, they may continue using their present bodyguards, however we do advise for them to take extra care and be especially cautious when appearing in public..."

Relena felt like screaming. _'When will everyone learn to get along? Why are there still people opposed to peace?' _She was frustrated inside, although it did not show on the outside. There was not a crack in her political mask. Her thoughts began to stray, as she wondered what the man speaking had meant by 'old soldiers of the war'. The sound of the lady sitting next to her clearing her throat brought her back to reality.

**_But I was..._**

**_So confused, my heart's bruised_**

**_Was I ever loved by you?_**__

"...And therefore if there are some of you who would rather not be entrusted in the care of the Gundam pilots, or any of the soldiers of the war, please say so now." The old man finished.

Relena jerked a little. _'Gundam pilots?'_

A short, rather plump lady stood. She turned up her nose a little. "Gundam pilots? Aren't they dangerous? It was said that a few of them may even be mentally unstable." She said haughtily. A few murmurs were heard around the room.

Relena stiffened. She disliked the lady immediately. _'How could she say all of that, when it was the Gundam pilots who had fought so hard for peace?' _She stared blankly out into the audience, her mind far away. A movement on the balcony above her left caught her eye, and she blinked in surprise. She looked again at the balcony, and saw a dark figure standing behind the curtain. She gasped._ 'Could it be...?' _She thought back to the last time she had spotted someone in the shadows on a balcony. _"Heero..."_

Her eyes widened in surprise when the light from a window illuminated the figure for a second. It was not the impassive Gundam pilot. It was a strange man she hadn't seen before, with blond hair. She couldn't make out the rest of his features and squinted. She caught a flash of a pair of glinting emerald orbs before a gunshot was heard, and she was tackled to the ground by some unknown force. Cold, dark blue eyes met hers as the dizziness left her.

**_Out of reach, so far_**

**_I never had your heart_**

**Out of reach, couldn't see**

**_We were never meant to be_**

Heero immediately got up and, ignoring the startled shouts from the officials, promptly climbed up the curtains and leapt gracefully onto the balcony, before melting into the shadows. Relena assumed that he had gone after the assassin, and began to feel worried. She got up from the floor, only to have her bodyguards surround her, and the fake looks of concern from the people fill her line of vision. She tried to catch a glimpse of Heero, but he had already disappeared from her sight. She sighed, and quickly assured everyone that she was fine. But inside she was filled with pain and confusion. He was here. All the emotions locked inside her heart poured out all over again.

**_So much hurt, so much pain_**

**_Takes a while to regain what is lost inside_**

**_And I hope that in time, you'll be out of my mind_**

**I'll be over you**

She glanced to her right. Embedded on the wall just above the chair where she sat was a bullet. If Heero hadn't pushed her down, that same bullet would have been embedded into her head by now. She shivered involuntarily. This was immediately noticed by her bodyguards, who started to move closer to her. Relena felt like she was suffocating, drowning in a deep ocean of emotions. She couldn't breathe, and the last thing she saw before she fell unconscious were a pair of intense Prussian blue orbs burning into her heart.

**But now I'm...** _So confused, my heart's bruised_

**_Was I ever loved by you?_**__

Relena woke up in her bed and groaned as the sun shone into her eyes. She rubbed them and sat up, only to be met with a surge of nausea filling her head. She groaned again as she tried to focus on the events that had occurred, but all she could remember was a blur. And now her head throbbed even more. She flopped back onto her pillow and pulled the sheet over her. A gentle breeze swept around the room and the hair prickled on the nape of her neck. She didn't have to look, she could feel him. Dragging the sheet back down, she sighed. "Heero."

And there he stood, unruly chocolate locks shielding his eyes of impassivity. He looked directly at her and leaned back against the wall at the opposite end of the room, arms crossed loosely over his chest. Her breath caught in her throat as the sunlight shone on him, highlighting every perfect feature. He was beautiful... and although he was in the same room as her, so far away...

**_Out of reach, so far_**

**_I never had your heart_**

**Out of reach, couldn't see**

**_We were never meant to be_**__

His eyes never left hers and she felt compelled to stay where she was, basking in the glorious feeling that his mere presence gave her. Finally, she smiled. He gazed at her intently for what seemed like an eternity, before turning away and pushing himself off the wall. Not a single sound escaped from her lips as he walked out onto the balcony and left her by herself, without so much as a glance back.

**Out of reach, so far** You never gave your heart 

**_In my reach, I can see_**

**_There's a life out there for me_**

One lone tear trickled down her cheek. Again, she was alone in the world.

~~*~~

Alright, I want some opinions now. Should I write another songfic similar to this, only from Heero's point of view? Or should I just scrap that idea and uh... do some other stuff? Till next time, minna-san! ^_^


End file.
